It hurts like mad. It's also unimaginable to come through the experience totally unhurt. Comparable to a roller coaster taking flight off its rails; occasionally all you are able to do is grip that lap bar for good life and hope you make it out of the inevitable wreck alive.
I have outlined 10 tips to help you find your way back:
Tip #1: Don't go crazy!
Responding like a fanatic, raging animal could set you up for a life of humility and sorrow. Try to maintain some composure. If you sense yourself reeling out of control, do not dismiss it, as opposed, accept the experience. Give yourself a minute to ride the wave. Envision the scene performing in your mind. Let your imagination run free, or write it all out on paper, whatever you gotta do to get it out of your head. Better than acting out your notions.
Make certain you run through every pace. The crazy act first, and think about it later, don't be that person. I want you to imagine everything running through your mind and their possible outcomes the keyed car or cut tires, the response from your ex, the police showing up at your house and handcffing you before carting you off, what you'll state in your argument with the police, how you'll probably end up on probation paying tons in fines or worse spending time locked up, having to explain the situation to everyone who asks i.e. your friends, family, and future employers.
Tip #2: Forgive yourself for having crazy thoughts.
You've had your heart and soul pulled out and trampled on by someone who was supposed to love you. Naturally you are going to have some strong emotions about it! Short of having your name changed and jumping ship to a different country, there isn't a lot you can do to fix a mess created by a crazy outburst (see Tip #1).
Tip #3: Surround yourself with love and support.
Family, friends, counsellors, whomever you need to discuss it with; an open ear and a little advice is just what the doctor ordered. Gather as much support for yourself with as many friends as you can. This is exactly why we pursue relationships to begin with. Too many folks try to get by solo, not desiring to be an encumbrance on other people or seem imperfect and dumped. What comes about when affairs break down? We've all experienced this or will experience in the future. If your buddies aren't the supportive type or if you'd rather keep your affairs private. There's tons of support from unbiased folks on the net
Tip #4: It takes time to feel better
Time and good friends or advice are the two keys to feeling better. Even though it rings true, it may feel like crap.
Tip #5: Focus on the self.
It's time to focus on you, maybe it wasn't your doing, on the other hand, perhaps it was partially your fault. Are you noticing some destructive practices? Now's the ideal time to learn a little bit about your character. Hang out with an old friend. Personal epiphones can be excellent guideposts for change. Splurge on yourself, you deserve it; get some new clothes, get a hair cut, or go to a spa. Take care of yourself and do new things.
Tip #6: Take a vacation.
Breaks are excellent. Escaping has received such a bad name. Too often realness can turn toxic quite rapidly. That's why we've invented outlets like sports, movies, and shopping. Rather than using drugs, or alcohol or one night stands, contemplate more levelheaded choices. Physical exercise is an awesome escape. You'll feel more confident, look much better, occupy your mind, and use up some of that extra energy. Read books, reading is the gretest escape of all. Awise man once told me "Only two things change in a person from year to year, and they are; the books you read, and the people you meet".
Tip #7: Focus on friends and family.
If you're feeling down and depressed, go and help someone else wh's down and out. Go and do some community service, you'll feel proud knowing that you're helping others instead of sitting around being glum. Helping to improve the lives of others, will help you feel better about yourown life and help you to realise that it's not as bad as it could be.
Tip #8: Do something that you are afraid of.
Not scared of anything? I doubt that, you might have a fear of flight, maybe you're scared of the dark, maybe you're not that great a dancer. Perhaps you've felt a little insecure about it, go ahead and try some lessons to give your confidence another boost.
If you can conquer your fears you will feel like a new person, I guarantee.
Tip #9: Make at least 4 copies of this list and post it where you will inadvertantly read it.
Put one next to your bed. Can't sleep? If you find yourself waking up read this and it will help to soothe you, and keep your head on straight.
Tape one to your bathroom mirror whiping the sleep from your eyes, take a glance at the tips. Find unique places to stick the list and it will help you to adhere. Put one by the telephone, it will help to keep you from making those impaired calls
Oh yeah I almost forgot!
Tip #10: Read The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson. It is by far one of the best books out there on Relationship Building. Check it out...http://offto.net/4ks260/
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